Vegan times

Being part of a church that fasts frequently (and by fasting I mean giving up animal products for stipulated periods during the year) has its adventures. From a very upbeat and positive viewpoint, it can be rather exciting for someone who enjoys culinary challenges. As a devotee to dairy products, I appreciate the opportunity to take a break from my usual cheese-with-everything diet and explore the (plain) vegetable world. My family has gotten somewhat used to my food quirks in recent years, with my bowls of sourdough starters and fermented things, so now they smile at my half-gallon jars of what looks like guts (but are, in actuality, cooked beans) in the fridge and assortment of eggplants and cabbage. Yes, being a part-time vegan, I never realized what weird looks you get from non-vegans. Although I have spent the last two years of my life in Eugene, where vegans are indigenous and nothing is really that weird.
But fasting isn't always so upbeat and positive. It's not just a dietary decision (and let me tell you, it's not one I would make if there wasn't a higher spiritual value to it. I've come to respect those who do it just for health convictions, because I certainly couldn't). It's a time of sacrifice, when through your physical struggles you realize how much you need God's mercy if you're going to live for Him. I'm definitely not very good at it, but it is a blessed thing, and not something to despair over. Although pizza is rather tragic without cheese...but then, hummus covers a multitude of sins. God lets me laugh at myself!

By the way, ripe garden tomatoes taste great with rain water droplets on them!

Two piles of books

Yesterday I was checking out an armload of books and CDs from the library, and as I was doing so realized that I was being surveyed by a bust on display above me. It happened to be Beatrice (presumably Dante's lady), and on making eye contact with her she seemed to be reminding me that I already have a stack of summer reading for the upcoming school year. Which, alas, I have barely touched. And will probably distract myself further from it with my new stack. (So I'm more interested in green living and food-related literature right now than in Dante and Beatrice. It's summertime). Beatrice's little attempts at nudging me toward duty and integrity were not entirely fruitful (well, there are guilt pangs, yes, but have I acted upon them? No).

So here I enter yet another contest with myself. For really, a reading list that includes the Divine Comedy, Great Expectations, and Anna Karenina should be literary heaven to my bookish self. It rather offends my inner would-be English Lit. scholar that such a list fails to tempt. I would like to think this means I'm not that pretentious. Maybe I don't just read things for pretention's sake! Feeling better now? No, because what I'm actually dealing with is, quite plainly, good old-fashioned laziness. I encounter this frequently, but it's always discouraging to realize that things don't get done sheerly because I never put forth great effort to accomplish them. I feel this keenly after two years of it in college. But I suppose that's why I'm in college. Not to be able to say that I'm a whiz at homework assignments (even after fifteen years of school, sheesh), but to learn things about myself along with the academics. Whether or not I'll be able to parse Greek or pontificate on some obscure philosopher in a decade or two, I know that I will most likely struggle with laziness all my life. (For the record, I do highly value and enjoy my wacko liberal arts education. No, it probably won't ever pay as far as jobs and money are concerned, but then, I'd rather be a good person than a wealthy one. With humility, of course. For obviously, I struggle with the goodness part). Maybe if I tuck into the Divine Comedy right now, some of Beatrice's perfections will rub off on me.

Doubt it. But glory be to God anyway, for any mean attempts at goodness on my part.