Yesterday I was checking out an armload of books and CDs from the library, and as I was doing so realized that I was being surveyed by a bust on display above me. It happened to be Beatrice (presumably Dante's lady), and on making eye contact with her she seemed to be reminding me that I already have a stack of summer reading for the upcoming school year. Which, alas, I have barely touched. And will probably distract myself further from it with my new stack. (So I'm more interested in green living and food-related literature right now than in Dante and Beatrice. It's summertime). Beatrice's little attempts at nudging me toward duty and integrity were not entirely fruitful (well, there are guilt pangs, yes, but have I acted upon them? No).
So here I enter yet another contest with myself. For really, a reading list that includes the Divine Comedy, Great Expectations, and Anna Karenina should be literary heaven to my bookish self. It rather offends my inner would-be English Lit. scholar that such a list fails to tempt. I would like to think this means I'm not that pretentious. Maybe I don't just read things for pretention's sake! Feeling better now? No, because what I'm actually dealing with is, quite plainly, good old-fashioned laziness. I encounter this frequently, but it's always discouraging to realize that things don't get done sheerly because I never put forth great effort to accomplish them. I feel this keenly after two years of it in college. But I suppose that's why I'm in college. Not to be able to say that I'm a whiz at homework assignments (even after fifteen years of school, sheesh), but to learn things about myself along with the academics. Whether or not I'll be able to parse Greek or pontificate on some obscure philosopher in a decade or two, I know that I will most likely struggle with laziness all my life. (For the record, I do highly value and enjoy my wacko liberal arts education. No, it probably won't ever pay as far as jobs and money are concerned, but then, I'd rather be a good person than a wealthy one. With humility, of course. For obviously, I struggle with the goodness part). Maybe if I tuck into the Divine Comedy right now, some of Beatrice's perfections will rub off on me.
Doubt it. But glory be to God anyway, for any mean attempts at goodness on my part.
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2 comments:
Aw this post was so funny. I miss you!
"But I suppose that's why I'm in college. Not to be able to say that I'm a whiz at homework assignments (even after fifteen years of school, sheesh), but to learn things about myself along with the academics."
I think that is wise. I have found this to be very true of my own time at Gutenberg; it has taught me far more about my own failings as a person than it has about history or literature (though I've learned a bit about that as well, and I know you have too. ;)) Here's to difficult, lasting life lessons! :)
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